Block E Skyway

"The answer's really straight forward..."
"Well, if you don't want to hear it then FUCK you."

Downtown Target - Electronics Dept.

"You learned a lot from Stan, didn't you?"
"Yes, you know, he wasn't a good man, really, but he was a decent man."
"Oh, exactly."

6th & Hennepin

"HAAAA!"
"I'm a Gemini!"
"You don't even know what that means, huh, motherfucker?"
"That means I'm coming for your ass!"
"HAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Block E Skyway

"Just shut the fuck up."

Outside Sawatdee

"There's no mints!...I know, what kind of shit-hole restaurant is this?"

Nicollet Mall

"tchicka-tchicka-tchicka-tchicka-tchicka-tchicka-tchicka-tchick"

1st Avenue & 3rd Street

"First, I'm going to charge him twenty bucks for the gas. Then, I'm going to pickpocket another twenty because he's an asshole."

Somewhere in Hopkins

"Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. I could barely hear you. I was in some old building that used to make mattress handles."

Bryant Lake Bowl

"You'll find him in the basement. His name is George."

Block E

"A 44 cent stamp ain't going to cover a $500 deductible."


thanks to: Tim Blevins

Block E Skyway

"Prince?...Yeah, love that paisley nigga."

Outside Block E Starbucks

"I had to reschedule my whole fucking day so I could be in court and you could do fuck-all."


thanks to: Joel Stacy

Gaviidae Common

"And that Denise...and that Denise...that bitch...she didn't give me no pills* neither. I don't care who you are, I'll kill a mutha fucka. Shit. Like dat bitch can't give up thirty or so pills*."

*pronounced peels.

Block E Skyway

"I saw that, too! There's feces everywhere!"

Ridgedale Center

"Who gives a shit how many kids that son of a bitch has? Shiiiit, I don't."

Block E Starbucks

"...I'm a fucking rock star.....I fuck a lot of chicks.....yeah.....because I'm a fucking rock star."

4th & 1st Ave N

"Not so much a hard blow. But just bring it up to a soft blow. Yes. Just bring it right up to a soft blow. Yes. Soft. Then wait, because my wife will show up soon."

Downtown Target

"I'm pretty sure they know I don't have sex with men by now."

5th & Hennepin

"Great. I'll call you on Thursday. What was your first name again? Whao! Okay. I guess I can try to remember that."

Brackett Park

"We put a man on the moon but we can't get an IT guy down there!"

thanks to: Barrett Haroldson

Hennepin Avenue

"If people are going to be showing up, then they need to shut the fuck up."

Bruegger's Bagels

"...if you know what's good for you...there are over 143 sex offenders in my zip code...143!"

331 Club in Northeast

"We met at a skatepark......in the women's bathroom."

Outside Target Center

::Standing on corner holding cell phone out in front of face::

"YOU'RE A TOTAL FUCKING BITCH, BITCH!!!"

Somewhere in the Skyway

"Okay, so we'll just pop in. Okay, so next week I'll be in town and we'll go over and just pop in. I'll see you next week. Yeah, we'll just pop in. Oh yeah, yep, yep...we'll just pop in."

Ramp C Elevator

"...I'm in the elevator so I don't want to bore all these people with the details of this...Yah, yah, I don't think these people care ab...What? No, I'm just saying because I'm in the elevator...Now you're getting it."

::As the doors open, this perfect stranger looks over at me with a smile, winks and departs the elevator::

At Work

"No no no no no no no don't order another drink! Don't order another drink. I'm leaving right now. Okay? Right now. Okay bye. Okay.....bye."

1st Avenue

"Got a new video coming out next week. Yeah, it's called 'The Trickle.' I know. I love it too. Gonna rock."

IDS Crystal Court

"Then I said, 'Okaaaaay,' and slowly backed away ..........yeah...........I know........total fuckin' freak."

1st Ave. & 4th St.

"So, he answers the phone and he screams at me, 'I have a needle in a woman's stomach right now! What do you want?!?'"

5th & Hennepin

"Oooooohhhhhhh! Yeahhhhhhhhh! Fuck. Hell. Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I'll pick up day fuckin' shit my own damn self if it be dat mutha fuckin' good." Ya Heard!"

Outside The Loon

"It was a really bad time in my life. My ex was a fucking douche. And to top it all off, I wasn't allowed to paint my fucking walls. I had white fucking walls!"

On First Avenue

"Yeah...that guy...yeah...that guy...he's...he's never been very good about having clean hands... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

Kickernick Building

::Yelling inside lobby::

"STAY THE FUCK OFF MY PHONE! STAY THE FUCK OFF MY PHONE! NO! STAY THE FUCK OFF MY PHONE! GET THE FUCK OFF MY PHONE!"

::He turns and follows me out. As I hold the door open, he calmly says::

"Thank you, Sir."

::Now outside, top of lungs::

"STAY THE FUCK OFF MY PHONE! LOOOOOOOOOOK! GET OFF MY FUCKING PHONE! GOD FUCKING DAMMIT! STAY THE MOTHER FUCK OFF MY FUCKING PHONE!"

Target Center Skyway

"Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to tell you exactly what I need......you."
"Yes, you."

Outside Butler Square

"No No No No No NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Gaviidae Common

"What's happening is people are mistaking what actually happened with what really happened."

Ramp C Elevator

"Well, yeah, it's warm there compared to the rest of the country."
"You're so fucking stupid, you...(finished sentence in fluent Spanish)"
"You pushed the wrong...(Spanish)...now it's erased!"
"Yeah, O.K... (Spanish)...It sure does fucking blow."
"(Spanish)...Emilia...(Spanish)... the record button ...(Spanish) ...yes (Spanish) ...no!"
"(Spanish)"

St. Josephs ER waiting room

"Hello."
"NO, I'm outta town."
"I don't know, when I get there."
"I don't know, fuck off!"
"When I get there!"
::slams phone shut::

"Hello."
"I'm outta town."
"150 miles."
"NO, FUCK!"
"When I get there."
"I don't know, I'm outta town."
"Ugh, I don't have time to explain it to you."
::slams phone shut::

(man sitting with her):

"Hello?"
"No, we are out of town."
"About 150 miles."
"Oh, when we get there."
"Nope, we are outta town."
"When we get there."
"OK, fuck off."
::slams phone shut::

thanks to: Alison Beattie

DSW Shoe Store

"Is he light-skinneded?"
"Marcus."
"Hey!"
"Is he light-skinneded?"
"Yeah, dat's him."